remembering her moment

in sleepy meditation
i remember a day

her day, not mine
where she and a friend walked the streets of montreal
for hours
and only talked about what was happening
in that moment

is the day as unforgettable
to her as it is to me
who only heard about it
after the fact?

Fall

Wooooooo!
drunken robins
falling leaves
the world in flight!
yellow
in an envelope of silence
in the woods
woooooooo!
like an out
breath!
or a wind ....

ready

through the lobby windows
i am surprised to see rain
and i go back upstairs to put on my boots

*

it's quite cold today
this early thanksgiving
and i feel ungrateful

i meditated on irritation
while the teacher talked of gratitude
i meditated on disatisfaction
while the teacher spoke of abundance

and i swore repeatedly in the shower
while crying
and feeling sorry for myself

afterwards
i didn't have the feeling of dryness
and tiredness
you get after crying
i felt fine
i put on my nice clothes
i walked down the road
i ironed tableclothes and folded napkins and set the table
with lovely china
and enjoyed a lively thanksgiving meal
with twelve people and two dogs and a guinea pig

afterwards
when i came out into early evening
it wasn't raining anymore
but it was still cold

i am ready for winter

self-conscious

to speak
and risk what happens
to us all

or
to be silent
and dream-believe
i am not-arising?

to speak
risk it all
and then to be silent
and know it

quivering